The TURK Rulebook
by niara a. tepes
Summary: Tseng has had enough of Reno's lax attitude and the reputation he gives the TURKs. So, he takes matters into his own hands and calls on the only TURK with the ability to straighten the red-head out: the former TURK Vincent Valentine.
1. Rule 1

**A/N: **This is something random that just popped up out of nowhere.

**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy 7 is the property of SquareEnix and its associates. I make no legal claim to it.

**1 –A TURK knows every rule. ****EVERY**** rule.**

**In the event that a TURK is asked to recite the rules, they will be able to do so**

The office of the reformed Department of Administrative Research was oddly silent. The squeaking of wheels and scratching of pens filled the air as the desk-bound men and women worked diligently to finish their work before their boss left for the night. It was this very silence, so unheard of on this floor when a certain red-head wasn't on assignment, that drew Tseng from the depths of his office to see the reason behind this unnatural occurrence.

Rude sat at his desk, as Tseng expected, working hard to have both his and Reno's paperwork from their previous mission finished. Across from him, however, Reno's desk was devoid of an trace of the red-head's flamboyant presence. Tseng frowned and stopped in front of Rude's desk, glaring rather pointedly at the cluttered chaos that Reno called his work station.

"Where is Reno?" Rude winced and looked up from his paperwork, his sunglasses pushed up on his forehead to reveal bloodshot eyes. Tseng turned his attention to the bald man, scowling. "Well?"

"I don't know, sir," Rude replied. "I tried calling him an hour ago, but he didn't answer."

Tseng scowled and stalked back into his office, his personal cell phone already out and open. He slammed the door to his office shut behind him and scrolled through the numbers displayed on his screen until he reached the one he was looking for.

After three rings, the line was picked up. "Hello?"

"Mr. Tuesti, this is Tseng. I need to get in touch with an acquaintance of yours."

~******~

When Reno waltzed into the office that morning, he had been feeling pretty good. His mission had gone well, he'd managed to shove all the paperwork off onto Rude, and he'd gotten to sleep in because of it. By the end of the day, he was wondering if there was a way for him to retire that didn't involve a bullet or knife someplace vital.

He flopped down in his chair and put his feet up on the only clear space on his desk right next to the empty file folder. Rude looked up when he sat and Reno waved at his partner. "Yo, partner."

"Reno," Rude began, "Tseng was looking for you this morning."

"He say why?" Reno hoped it was for a new mission.

"No, but he looked angry." The red head shrugged and sank deeper into his seat.

"He's always grumpy in the mornings, yo." Rude sighed and gestured towards the shut door that led to Tseng's office.

"Not like this, he's not." Reno shrugged and pulled a random file off his desk and began to read it, wrinkling his nose at the contents. Kidnapping cases annoyed the red head since he normally didn't get to fight, but he could deal with one if nothing better showed up.

"Reno," Tseng barked suddenly. Reno yelped and fell out of his chair, before looking up at the Wutanese man. Tseng stood in the doorway of his office, his expression oddly blank, though there was a distinct amount of annoyance in his eyes as he glared at the red-head sprawled on the floor. Reno smiled at him and waved in a two-fingered salute.

"Yo, boss." Tseng scowled before turning and disappearing back into his office.

"Get in here, Reno." Reno sighed and got up, rubbing at his abused bottom. He waved at Rude before walking into Tseng's office, the door slamming shut behind him before he could even touch it. The TURK turned sharply and stared at the sight of the only "living" retired TURK, Vincent Valentine, casually leaning against the door of Tseng's office, his crimson eyes studying Reno intently.

Reno swallowed and turned back around to face his boss while still trying to keep one eye on Valentine. "Yo, ya wanted to speak with me, boss?"

Tseng settled into the stiff leather chair behind his desk and nodded. He pushed a thin black book across his desk, the object spinning slightly so that it was facing Reno when it stopped. "I want you to read this. Valentine has graciously agreed to assist me in re-implementing the older, more obscure aspects of TURK history, beginning with that book." Tseng leaned forward, ebony gaze trapping Reno's teal one. "I have had enough of your being late and your inability to conform to the rules of this organization. The only reason you have yet to be terminated is because of how good you are at this job. Do you understand me?"

Reno swallowed again and nodded. "Yes, sir."

He reached out and picked up the thin book, his thumb brushing away a thin film of dust, and stared at the title.

_TURK Rulebook – as written and decreed by Verdot_.

**A/N:** That's that. Please let me know what you think. And the chapters should get longer.


	2. Rule 2

**A/N: **This is something random that just popped up out of nowhere. Also, to those who asked why I capitalize TURK: pretty much every time I see TURK, it looks like that, especially in the game, so that's what I'm going by.

**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy 7 is the property of SquareEnix and its associates. I make no legal claim to it.

**2 - A TURK is never seen**

Reno stared at the book for a second before looking at his boss again. "A rulebook, yo?"

Tseng nodded and leaned forward in his seat. "Yes, a rulebook. Written, as you can see, by Commander Verdot. This is our official rulebook and I expect you to follow every rule in it from this point forward."

"Since I helped to write it," Vincent murmured from the doorway, "I've agreed to make certain that you follow what was intended rather than your personal interpretation."

The red-head sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "It's gonna be hard to do my work with Valentine hanging over my shoulder all the time, yo."

"Rule number two," both senior TURKs stated. Reno blinked and glanced between the two men, confused.

"Wha?"

"Page six," Vincent clarified, gesturing towards the book in Reno's hands. Reno flipped the book open and turned to page six where five words glared back at him, bold and accusing. "A TURK is never seen. You won't even know that I am tailing you unless I wish you to."

Reno snorted and shut the book. He shoved it into the pocket inside his jacket, that space containing the leather gloves he never used, and turned back to Tseng. "Anything else, yo?"

Tseng smirked and selected a folder from the many sitting in a neat pile on the corner of his desk. Holding it out to his red-head, he said, "This is your next assignment. It's a simple assassination in Junon, so I'm giving you a month to get it done. Since Valentine is going with you, Rude will be staying here. Any questions?"

"Nah, yo," Reno replied, taking the folder from Tseng. He flipped it open and studied the picture of his target – an older, fat man losing his hair with bright red face – and sighed. "I'll get it done, yo."

"See that you do." The Wutaian looked past Reno at Vincent. "Make sure he doesn't get out of line and I'll take care of everything on my end."

"Fair enough," Vincent mumbled and opened the door to Tseng's office. "I will keep him in line. Have it ready when I get back."

Tseng nodded and Reno was dragged out of the office by Vincent before he could ask what they were talking about. The door to the office snapped shut behind them and Vincent released Reno's collar immediately. "I will meet you at your apartment in twenty minutes. Do not dawdle."

Vincent turned and stalked out of the Department of Administrative Research, ignoring the startled looks that the TURK officers directed at his back as he disappeared into the elevator. Rude looked at his partner as soon as the steel doors slammed shut with a _ping!_ and frowned, adjusting his glasses. "What was that about?"

"I've got a damn babysitter, yo," Reno growled. He stalked over to his desk and holstered his rarely used gun and grabbed his EMR. "Tseng says I need to straighten up and follow all of the rules. Threw the fuckin' rulebook and its editor at me, yo."

Rude blinked and pinched the bridge of his nose to stall the building pressure behind his eyes. "Tseng actually handed you the rulebook? _The_ rulebook?"

"Unless Verdot wrote two of these things," Reno grumbled as he held up the thin book for Rude to see, "yeah, as the boss put it, the _official_ rulebook, yo."

"Huh," Rude grunted. He folded his arms and leaned back in his chair as he watched Reno move in the jerky, spastic motions that always betrayed his frustration. "I didn't know a copy still existed."

The red-head shoved the book back into his jacket and slammed the drawers of his desk shut, kicking his chair under the desk for good measure. "It's probably Valentine's, yo. Damn thing looks about as old as him." He glared at his desk again before shoving his hands in his pockets and turning towards the elevator. "I've got a mission, yo. Be back in a month."

"I'm not going with you?" While it wasn't uncommon for Tseng to assign long missions to a single person, it was rare for Reno to be sent out alone due to the red-head's tendency to get into a fight at every opportunity.

"What the fuck do you think the damn vampire's for, yo? I certainly didn't ask for no creepy stalker, yo." Rude sighed and turned back to his paperwork. Tseng, it would appear, was serious about making Reno straighten out this time. The bald man was almost scared to think about what that would mean for his rambunctious partner.

"Just don't get killed."

"I won't, yo." Reno waved at Rude before stalking out of the office, nearly breaking the controls for the elevator when he kicked the buttons. "Just make sure you don't go gettin' yourself killed without me there, partner."

~******~

There were very few things that Vincent had ever taken pride in. His skills as a gunman were one and the continued success of the TURKs was another. While he had been asleep for the crucial years of the development of mako injections and the development of the SOLDIER program, the work that he and the other early TUKRs had put into the Department of Administrative Research had seen to it that ShinRa's paid assassins had survived the destruction of the old company relatively intact. That personal pride was one of the multitude of reasons for the secret motto of the TURKs.

"Once a TURK, always a TURK." Even after more than thirty years, Vincent was confident that he could walk into the Tseng's office and be reinstated to his former position with minimal hassle. That being said, the thought that someone as lax and careless as Reno had become such a high level TURK rankled Vincent's TURK pride more than Cid's swearing and Yuffie's pestering. If it meant working for ShinRa once more, so be it.

Vincent watched as Reno stepped out of his apartment, a heavy duffle bag thrown over one shoulder and grumbling as he made his way to where his car, and Vincent, waited. The red head pulled the car keys out of his pocket and began fiddling with the lock. Now that he was closer, Vincent could make out the TURK's complaints. "Stupid Tseng, making me hang out with a freakin' vampire. I mean, Valentine ain't even been in the field for a long ass time! How the hell does Tseng expect me to do this with him taggin' along?"

"Better than you would on your own," Vincent quipped. "Especially if this is your idea of subtle."

Reno jumped, his hand diving into his jacket for the gun he kept there – even if he never used it. He stared at Vincent and the gunman noted the faintest tinge of green glow fading out of Reno's eyes. Vincent stepped out of the shadows and walked over to the passenger side of Reno's car, offering the shocked TURK a smile, flashing just the faintest hint of fang. "What's wrong? Cat got the tongue?"

"You're…wearin' normal clothes," Reno breathed, his hand slipping from his jacket as he looked to see where he dropped his keys. "I didn't know you owned anythin' but that leather get up of yours."

Vincent snorted softly as he waited for Reno to stand and unlock the doors of the car so they could get going. Reno finally managed to open the doors and threw his bag into the back of the car. "Where the hell did you pop out of, anyway? There wasn't no one here when I got here."

"More like you just didn't see me," Vincent replied, slipping into his seat and pulling on the seatbelt. "Did you remember the book?"

Reno grumbling as he pulled the book out of his jacket and waved it at the red eyed man. "Yeah, I got it. Let me guess, you were usin' one of these stupid rules."

Vincent smirked. "Rule number two. You would do well to remember it since you're going to be making use of it."

Reno's answer came with a scowl. "Care to enlighten me as to the great mystery of this rule, oh wise one?"

"A TURK," Vincent replied with a smirk in answer, "is never seen."

**A/N:** Thanks for all the reviews for the first chapter of this. I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to actually like this at all, so cool. Thanks again and I'll try to update this a bit sooner next time.


	3. Rule 3

**A/N: ** Hey, I'm really glad the others like this story and I have to say that I'm surprised by the response I've gotten for it. Oh, I'm going try to answer some of the questions that popped up in reviews so just bear with me a moment before we get going with the chapter.

**To everyone who commented on Reno saying "yo" - ** That's a characterization thing that I've noticed pops up a lot and I'm just trying to stay as true to the characters as I can. It annoys me too, which is why I've been slowly dropping it, so, hopefully, it won't be as annoying.

**elany – **I agree about Deidara. That can get really annoying fast.

**Licoriceallsorts – **I know Reno's not a screw up and that he's actually pretty professional, but he does have some reckless tendencies the other TURKs don't and that's what I'm playing on. I am going to try and show his more professional side soon, though.

I realize that Vincent is _really_ chatty in this. Blame it on the "Reno Effect."

Oh, be sure to read the note at the end if you're really interested in this idea. Thanks and on with the story.

**Disclaimer: **Final Fantasy 7 is the property of SquareEnix and its associates. I make no legal claim to it.

**3 – A TURK is seen and never heard (2 - A TURK is never seen, cont.)**

"You're not going to kill him right now, are you?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Reno growled. He and Vincent were sitting in the car in the garage of the target's office in Junon. Every time Reno had tried to get out of the car, Vincent would re-lock the car just as he was about to open the door and the redhead had developed a slight twitch in his right eye. "Why, exactly do you want me to _not_ kill this dude like I'm supposed to?"

"Do you even have a plan?" Reno turned to glare at the crimson-eyed man. While the permanent glow from the mako made Vincent's return glare all the more intimidating, Reno refused to back down.

"What the hell is there to plan for? I go in, flash the ID and break the guy's neck." He folded his arms at the sight of the Vincent's frown. "Alright, what's the deal, yo? This is how things get done."

"How long did Tseng give you?"

"What in Gaia's name does that have to do with this?" Vincent's glare forced the red-head to slump down in his seat, scowling. "He gave me a month."

"Then why are you trying to take only a few days?" Reno huffed and crossed his legs as best as he could in the cramped confines of the car, looking more like a whining five year old than a trained TURK.

"What the hell are you trying to get at, Valentine?"

Vincent leaned back in his seat, though his hand never left the switch for the lock. "Tseng gave you a month, so use that month. Did you even look at the file to see who you've been assigned?"

"Dominique du Paar," Reno recited. "Owner of several high end mercenary and delivery companies, including the primary military opposition to the WRO and Shinra Inc. What about it?"

"Think," Vincent growled. "What would happen if it came out that a TURK took out the head of the main opposition for Shinra and the WRO, who, I'll remind you, is trying to promote a _non-combative_ image?"

Reno frowned and leaned his head back against the seat. True, Rufus and Reeve had been working together to clean up both the planet and Shinra by promoting a more eco-friendly, less fear based policy and it was also true that if word got out that a TURK had taken the only real resitance to the newly reformed Shinra, it would ruin all the work Rufus and Reeve had been doing. However, neither of these things changed the fact that the TURKs were still the same as they had always been, even in the new Shinra. After all, even Reeve admitted that without some sort of enforcement, what they were trying to do would fall apart. The red-head sighed and looked at Vincent.

"Fine," he grumbled. "What's your plan?"

"You do recall the official name for the TURK department, do you not?"

Fuck. Reno hated subterfuge.

******

One really boring office tour and three simpering secretaries later, Reno and Vincent were sitting directly across from Dominique du Paar in his office, assessing both the large man and the thin security he kept around his office. Du Paar's photo, Reno decided, hadn't done the man justice; he was almost grossly fat with a bright red face and thin white hair that had begun to recede, leaving a large bald spot. All in all, Reno had felt more threatened by the prospect of "relieving" Yuffie Kisuragi of all material than he did taking out this guy.

Beside him, Valentine had undergone some sort of metamorphosis the moment they were out of the car. With his gauntlet gone, no visible weapons to speak of and a tailored black suit, the gunman looked more like someone Rufus would be having board meetings with than a sixty-something year old demon possessed paid killer. Even his hair, thick and wild as it was, had been controlled in a way that reminded Reno a little too much of Tseng. The former TURK had been the one to do much of the talking, leaving Reno free to act as the eyes and ears, to scope out everyone and everything, even as Valentine learned the administrative details of du Paar's administration.

Hell, Reno had a feeling that Valentine could have talked the balding idiot into signing his assets over to Shinra and the moron wouldn't have even bothered to read the fine print.

"So," du Paar gushed in his wheezy voiced that made Reno think the guy was going to have a heart attack just talking to them, "what can I do for members of Shinra's Department of Administrative Research? We've gone over my plans for the development of the city, but I know that can't be all that Mr. Shinra sent you here to talk to me about."

"Mr. du Paar," Vincent replied, "we are not here on behalf of just Shinra Inc., if you will recall. Mr. Tuesti is very interested in what you plan to do for Junon to help the city recover. After all, both he and Mr. Shinra feel it is their duty to see all the damages inflicted by the Shinra Electric Company be dealt with in the most efficient manner possible that is to the benefit of the people."

Now Reno knew Valentine had been spending way too much time around Reeve. Tuesti was the only person the TURK knew who could spout that kind of bullshit and sound like he honestly meant it. Clearly, it had begun to affect Valentine.

Du Paar shifted, refolding his chubby hands several times before answering. "W-well, as you can see, we are doing everything possible to assist in bettering the lives of the poor citizens of Junon." Reno blinked and shifted his full attention to the fat man behind the desk. "N-now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to attend."

"Of course," Vincent murmured. Both TURKs stood and left the office, neither saying a word as they were lead out of the building by two armed guards. Only when they were back in the car and preparing to drive away did Reno finally speak.

"Lying fatso. If he's doing anything to 'better' these peoples' lives, I'll eat Strife's sword." Vincent grunted in reply and kept his eyes on the mirror.

"It would seem he is not completely incompetent," the gunman mumbled. "We'll have to let them follow us to the hotel; it would be pointless to tip our hand just yet."

Reno grumbled a few choice words. "Have mentioned that I fuckin' hate subterfuge? Cause I do."

"Get used to it," Vincent grumbled. "I think we should take a closer look at du Paar's companies. Some of the things he said didn't match up and I want to find out just what kind of impact his death will have."

The red-head sighed and nodded. "Sure, yo. You're the one making sure I can do my job right, after all."

Vincent only continued to watch the car in the mirror, crimson eyes tracking the flickering reflections of light on the car as it trailed behind them.

**A/N – **I know I'm not going to be able to write on all the rules that I've made up, so I'm thinking about posting them here and letting other people write stories based off the rules. If I do that and you write a story, please send me the link for it and I'll post the link or any new rules that you suggest. Let me know if you think this would be a good idea and I'll decide what to do. Thanks and I'll try to get the next chapter out soon.


End file.
